


Relative Gravity Falls (UNDER RECONSTRUCTION)

by BroadwayFangirl222



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Relativity Falls, Gen, I'm Bad At Summaries, Mystery Trio, Tags May Change, categories and tags might change depending on what I do with this fic, you know the drill folks: relativity falls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-01-06 08:30:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21223622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroadwayFangirl222/pseuds/BroadwayFangirl222
Summary: Stan & Ford leave their home of Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey to spend their summer in Gravity Falls, Oregon.





	1. First week Here

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my crack at the relativity falls AU. If this gets enough Kudos and comments, I'll do the other episodes and original adventures in place of the episodes that don't fit their personalities. Also, should I add a fiddauthor subplot? I'm definitely gonna do a mystery trio thing with this too but what do you guys of fiddauthor also?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ford finds the Journal, Stan finds a date in their first week at Gravity Falls

> _Summer break **should **be a time for leisure, recreation and just taking it easy. So naturally, that didn’t apply to me or my brother. My name is Ford, the guy about to puke is my brother Stan. You might be curious as to why we’re in a golf-cart fleeing for our lives against an admittedly fascinating creature of unimaginable horror. I can assure you, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for all this weirdness. It all started when Ma & Pa decided to ship us out west to a town called Gravity Falls, Oregon to spend the summer at our Great Aunt Mabel’s place. Ma thought we could use a change of scenery, away from bullies and all that, while Pa thought staying in the woods for a while would help us toughen up._

* * *

Stan put up posters of his favorite superhero & monster movies while Ford examined their room with skepticism. “Isn’t this attic amazin’ Sixer?!?! Look, I already got splinters” he happily showed off his hand that was covered in splinters. Seeing that would’ve caused sympathy pains in Ford’s hand if he wasn’t distracted by the elephant in the room...or well pig in the room. 

“Why is there a pig on my bed?” Stan grabbed his bag of toffee nuts then proceeded to get closer to the pig.

“Hey buddy, want a toffee nut?” he held out a piece in front of the pig's face.

“Uh stan that doesn’t sound healthy for i-” before Ford could finish his sentence, the pig grabbed the bag of toffee nuts and tried to run out the room with them.

“Hey ya’ fat, naked jerk, we were supposed to share those!” Stan yelled as he tackled the pig and wrestled the bag out of its mouth. “Haha, not so high an’ mighty anymore, are ya?” Lee shouted at the pig as it ran out of their room.

Stan celebrated by munching on whatever toffee nuts were left in the bag, much to his brother’s disgust.

* * *

> _My brother tended to see things from a more...optimistic, point of view. _

Happily climbing trees, stan yelled “YAYYY!! TALL TREES!” right before he fell to the ground. 

Meanwhile, Ford was busy writing something on the last page of a notebook. 

> _But for me, it was difficult getting used to our new surroundings. _

Out of nowhere, there was a flash of light, temporarily blinding Ford. “Scrapbook-ertunity.” The elderly woman who took the photo pulled out a scrapbook.“memories…” she hummed happily to herself as she placed the photo on a page labeled, ‘First Day here.’

> _And then there was our Great Aunt Mabel. Our aunt converted her house into a tourist trap called the “Mystery Shack”...well it’s technically called “The Mabel-Land Mystery Shack of Fun” but it’s just easier to say “Mystery Shack.” The real mystery is how anyone can believe that these are real cryptids. _

Mabel stopped the tour group she was leading, “Ladies and gentlemen, behold…The half fairy princess and half horse fairy princess.” Everyone in the crowd began excitedly taking photos of the clearly fake attraction.

> _And since Pa told Great Aunt Mabel he wanted us to have some work experience, so we can work in the pawnshop one day, guess who had to work there. _

* * *

Mabel stopped Stan from touching a large glass eye, “Sorry pumpkin, but please don't touch that next time. it's super fragile & I won't be able to sell it if it gets broken.” She patiently explained in her usual happy tone.

Both boys were kind of shocked at how Stan didn't really get in trouble for messing with the merchandise. It was just so different from how it was back home with the pawnshop. There was no shouting or a quick, little smack to the back of the head or not being allowed to hang out in the shop for the rest of the day. She barely even seemed upset at Stan for it. 

> _It was kind of jarring how nice Great Aunt Mabel was to us. It almost felt like she was coddling us. Like we’re little kids and not almost teenagers. This summer seemed like it was going to be the same, kinda nice, boring routine, until…._

“She’s looking at it, she’s looking at it!!!” Lee eagerly hid behind some of the “Madam Mystery” bobbleheads, staring at a girl in the shop. The girl held a random note that read: 

> _Do you like me? _

with three options to answer: 

> _Yes, definitely, absolutely_

“I rigged it” Stan beamed. This may have been his best pick up line yet. 

“Lee, I get you’re in the middle of your girl crazy phase right now, but aren’t you overdoing it with the crazy part?” 

“Aww come on Sixer, this is our first time away from home! We have a fresh start here. No one in this town thinks we’re losers or freaks. Ya know what that means?” How can his brother NOT see the massively great opportunity they’ve been given?

“That it’s only a matter of time ‘till they get to know us and _then_ they’ll think we’re freaks & losers, just like back home?” Ford just said matter of factly. While it was kind of a depressing thought, Ford knew that was the most likely outcome of this summer here. Who was he to argue with simple facts and probability? 

“No Sixer, it means we actually have a chance to get all the babes here, or well, a chance for ME to get all the babes. You’re probably just going to keep your nose buried in a book, or play that dumb, nerd game of yours all summer” Lee playfully punched his brother’s arm to emphasize that he was just teasing. Ford sarcastically laughed and rolled his eyes.

“But do you really need to flirt with practically every girl you see?”

“WHAT? I don’t do that!” Ok, Lee might flirt a lot but Sixer is seriously exaggerating how much he does. 

“Oh really? Remember the other girl who visited the Mystery Shack”:

> _ “Hi, I’m Stan, but you can call me your dream guy…I’m jokin’ ” He tried to playfully shove her, but he ended up accidentally pushing her into one of the merch stands. _

“Or that turtle girl who was probably too old for you” : 

> _ “Oh my God, ya like turtles?! I like turtles too! What’s happenin’ here?” _

“And don’t forget that one girl who’s family worked for a rival tourist trap”: 

> _ “I lost my phone number...can I borrow yours?” _
> 
> * * *

“OK, ok, Ford, point made. And feel free to mock all ya want, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my dream gal walked through that door right now.” As soon as Stan pointed at the door, Mabel walked through, her hair covered in glue, paint, glitter, and tape. 

“Aww why?” Stan complained while ford was trying not to laugh.

“Ok everyone, I need someone to hang these signs I just made in the woods. Any volunteers?” She held up the overly glittery signs. 

“Not it,” Wendy said almost immediately. 

“I would Mrs.Pines, but the cart’s busted and it’s a perfect chance to teach Fiddleford how to fix it” 

“Oh that’s ok Soos, just make sure this little scamp learns everything he can from this internship” she affectionately ruffled the other kid’s hair. 

“Welp looks like one of you two will have to hang these signs. I wonder who it will be...eenie, meenie, miney...you” Mabel happily booped Ford’s nose.

“Graunty Mabel, whenever I’m in the woods it feels like I’m being watched or there’s something’s just around the corner.”

“Aww sweetie, not this again” her tone was filled with concern. 

“I’m telling you, Great Aunt Mabel, something weird is going on in this town. Just the other day my mosquito bites spelled out ‘Beware’.” He showed off his arm, desperate to get Mabel to believe him. 

“That spells ‘_Bewarb_’. Listen Jellybean, the '_monsters in the forest_’ shpiel is just local legend. They're just made up stories designed to entertain people...and to make people buy things after they hear those entertaining stories. Nothing is gonna get you in those woods. So can you _ please _put these signs up for your Graunty Mabel?” Ford reluctantly agreed to.

* * *

Ford began angrily muttering to himself as he hammered up signs.

“Ugh, Graunty Mabel, why does no one ever believe what I say?” The tree he tried hammering a nail into made a metal clanging sound. Ford tapped the tree again to see if it actually made that noise. This tree’s fake?!?! He removed a panel and saw all these switches & dials. After messing with the strange switches and buttons, a hatch opened up. 

There has to be something in there, like maybe a map to some lost kingdom or some enchanted treasure, hidden away by explorers. Ford immediately looked inside the hatch and found...a really old, worn-out book? He wiped off the dust & dirt, revealing the big dipper, with a 3 in the middle of it, printed on the cover. Stanford opened to the first page and began reading, 

> " ‘_It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon_’...What is all this?”

he started to flip through random pages again. 

> “ ‘_Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before _ _ **he ** _ _finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.’_ ...No one you can trust."

No one can know about this book. For all he knew this could be a government conspiracy and anyone could be a sleeper agent for the- "HELLO!!!” Ford almost dropped the book in a panic. Stan was following him the whole time?! How did he not notice that? How much did Stan even see?!

“Hey Sixer, whatcha readin’? A book thing for your nerd game?” Stan grinned happily.

“Uhhh, it’s nothing” Lying to Lee made him feel terrible but he couldn’t tell anyone, not even his brother. 

“ ‘_Uhhhh it’s nothing_’ ” Stan mocked. “Dude, are ya seriously not gonna show me.” Even if it did end up being a boring science thing, Lee needed to know why his brother was acting weird. 

Ford thought for a second and looked around. Well, logically it's basically impossible for Stan to be connected to this. He came to Gravity Falls _with_ Ford, he's as much in the dark about this whole thing as Ford is. So it should be ok to let him know about the journal, right?

“Let’s go somewhere private” he hid the book closer to his side as they walked back to the shack.

* * *

“It’s amazing. Graunty Mabel thought I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side.”

“Whoa, seriously?!?!” Stan looked a little closer at the book his twin was holding. 

“And here’s the really interesting part, after a certain point the pages just go blank, like the author just disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Like the government was after them, or a rival ”

“Dude...this sounds like something straight out of one of your fantasy books,” Normally this would boring to Stan but the fact this is actually happening makes it actually interesting. They might actually be able to go on more adventures like when they went after the Jersey Devil. Maybe he’ll be able to punch a pterodactyl or some crazy monster in the face. 

“I know right?! Isn’t it amazing?!?! We can sol-” the doorbell cut him off. “Uh, who’s that?”

“Nothing gets past you, Sixer. This guy’s got a date,” Lee said happily. “Wait...in that half-hour I was gone, you already got a girlfriend?”

“What can I say bro-bro? Guess I’m just a babe magnet” he held up a magnet with a smug grin on his face.

The doorbell rang a few more times. “I’m comin’ babe,” Stan excitedly ran to the door.

Now that he finally had the chance, Ford started to read the journal. He became so engrossed in it, Ford didn’t notice that Graunty Mabel walked into the living room.

“Whatcha reading there, jellybean?” 

“Uhhh,” he hid the journal as quickly as he could and picked up a random magazine. “Just uh ‘_Scrapbooking tips for old ladies’ _ magazine?” Ok, not ideal but it’s better than Graunty Mabel knowing about the journal. 

“Ohhh that is a great issue. Really changed the game in the scrapbooking world.” 

“Hey, guys! I want ya to meet my girlfriend” Stan excitedly shouted before he and his girlfriend entered the room. “Hey” her voice sounded weirdly sore like she wasn't used to talking. 

“Uh hey…” Ford uttered awkwardly. 

“Aww Peanut, you going on your first date?!?! That is so adorable!" She turned her attention to Stan's date. "Hi, I'm Mabel, what’s your name sweetie?” 

“Normal…Lady” it sounded like it was a huge struggle for her to even say that. 

“She means Norma” Stan said with a huge lovestruck look on his face.

“Are you bleeding, Norma?” There’s clearly blood on her face. How can Stan or Graunty Mabel NOT notice it?

Norma stood there, stunned for a second, “It’s jam.” 

“I love jam!! Look at us!!” 

“You two are just so adorable! Let me get a picture of you two together to commemorate your first date!” Mabel pulled out a camera and gestured for them to get closer together. “Say ‘ scrapbook-ertunity ’ ” 

“Scrapbook-ertunity” Stan and...Norma made goofy poses as Mabel took the picture

. “Well, we gotta get going. Love you guys” 

“Love you too. Bye, you little love birds” Mabel happily waved as they left the house <strike>with Norma hitting the walls along the way.</strike>

* * *

> There was something about Norma that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal. 

> " '_known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for…'_-TEENAGERS?!?!...'_Beware Gravity Falls’ nefarious_-’ ”

he turned the page “ -ZOMBIE!!!!!!” Ford immediately ran to the window to see Lee & Norma’s date. She started walking suspiciously zombie-like toward Stan. 

“Stan!!! STAN!!! WATCH OUT!!!” he shouted, banging on the window. Norma ended up just handing Stan something.

“A wood carving of a wolf? Babe, you’re the best!” Stan gave Norma a huge hug. 

“Is Stan dating a zombie or am I just being paranoid?”

“It’s a dilemma to be sure” Ford panicked for a second...how did he not notice Fidds & Soos fixing stuff on the other side of the room? First, this happened with Stan, them Graunty Mabel and now Soos & Fidds? Is he just _that_ unobservant of his surroundings?

“Sorry, we couldn’t help but overhear you talkin’ aloud to yourself”

”Yeah, you weren’t exactly bein’ quiet as a church mouse, Ford” Fidds added apologetically. 

“It’s fine, but what do you two think? You’ve both seen Stan’s girlfriend. She has to be a zombie, right?”

Soos and Fiddleford thought about it for a second. “How many brains did ya see her eat?" Soos legitimately asked, actually taking what Ford said seriously.

Ford’s face dropped, “None.” Now it's not like he wanted to be right about this, but he needed someone to believe him 

“Look, Ford, we believe ya. Me & Soos are always noticin’ strange on-goings in this town. Ya know the lake and Scuttlebutt Island? I swear I saw the Gobblewonker hidin’ out there.”

“-And dude, I’m like 90% sure the mailman’s a werewolf” Soos added.

“But ya need evidence to support your hypothesis. Ya know, follow the scientific method. Otherwise, at best: no one is gonna believe your claims and at worst: they’ll just think ya got a screw loose.” 

Ford thought about what they said for a moment. “Good point. Thanks, guys for the great advice.” 

“We’re basically done with work. We can help ya if you want” Soos suggested. 

“Yeah, this could be a good ole fashion monster hun-” before Fiddleford could finish his sentence, Mabel’s voice ran through the house. “-Hey Soos, Fiddleford. The portable toilets are clogged. Can you two please clean them up?”

“Aww horse feathers. Sorry Ford, but we’re needed elsewhere. Good luck.” they walked off to take care of the bathrooms.

* * *

Ford felt weird spying on his brother’s dates over the past couple of days but he had to make sure Lee was safe. And besides, this investigation was just for a couple of days, more than enough time to get some solid evidence, hopwfully.

* * *

Ford walked in to see Lee putting in hair gel and fixing his hair. “Stan, we should talk about Norma”

“Isn’t she amazin’? Check out this smooch mark she gave me” he pointed to this giant, red mark on his cheek. 

Ford immediately began freaking out.

Stan started to laugh a little at Ford’s reaction. “Gullible, it was just a weird accident with the leaf blower. Long story short, don’t use it for kissin’ practice.” 

“Listen, Stan, Norma is not what she seems.” He held out the journal to emphasize his point. Stan immediately became way more interested in what Ford was telling him. Is Ford saying what he thinks he’s saying?

“Do ya think she could be a mermaid? That would be so awesome” Lee whispered excitedly. 

“Afraid not brother. Look, SHABAM-” Ford showed his brother the page.

“Gnomes? Ew.”

“Oh no, wait a second-” He turned to the correct page “-here we go. SHABAM!”

“A zombie? I get you’re jealous ‘cause I scored a babe before you, but this isn’t funny.” Ford closed the book. 

“I’m not jokin’ Lee, and I’m not jealous!! All the evidence adds up: The bleeding, the limp-SHE NEVER BLINKS! have you noticed that?!” Ford was almost manic at this point. 

“Maybe she blinks when you do?” Stan knew that wasn’t likely but it was way more likely than Ford’s stupid Zombie theory. 

“Remember what the journal said, ‘_Trust **No one** _’ ”

“But what about me, huh? Don't ya trust me? And besides, I can easily hold my own against a zombie if she really is one.” Lee took out a bottle of cologne he snuck from Pa’s room and spritzed himself with it. 

“SHE’S GONNA EAT YOUR BRAIN, STAN! DON’T YOU GET THAT?!?!” Ford can’t take this anymore. HOW CAN HIS BROTHER NOT SEE THE DANGER HE’S IN?!

“Sixer, listen here, Norma & I are goin’ on a date at 5 o’clock tonight. I’m gonna be dreamy, she’s gonna be drop-dead gorgeous and I’m not gonna let ya ruin it with your crazy conspiracies!” Lee ranted as he shoved Ford out of the room and slammed the door on him. 

“What am I gonna do?” Ford sighed.

* * *

Later that day, the doorbell rang. “Comin’!” Stan raced to the door. “Hey Norma, what do ya think of my hair?”

“....Spikey.” She said in her typical, gravely tone. 

“Aww babe, ya always know what to say. Ok, let’s paint the town red!!!” Lee shouted before they ran off together. 

Ford sat on the couch, examining the footage he collected over the past couple of days. “Soos and Fidds were right. I don’t exactly have enough evidence. I can get pretty paranoid sometim-WAIT WHAT?!?!” he rewound the footage and saw Norma’s hand fall off, then she just popped it back on her wrist like it was nothing. 

“OH MY GOD! I WAS RIGHT! GOD! OH MY GOD ! OH MY GOD! GRAUNTY MABEL! GRAUNTY MABEL!” Ford quickly bolted to find her.

* * *

“GRAUNTY MABEL! GRAUNTY MABEL” Ford desperately shouted in the crowd.

“And here we have Rock that looks like a face. The rock that looks like a face” 

Great, Graunty Mabel is in the middle of a tour. And judging by the fact that all the tourists couldn’t get the simple concept that it wasn’t an actual face, she was going to be stuck there for a while.

In the corner of his eye, he sees Wendy pull up with the golf cart. Oh, thank goodness. “WENDY! WENDY! WENDY! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my brother from a zombie!” Wendy just stared for a second and handed Ford the keys to the cart. 

“Just try not to hit any pedestrians” she emphasized with finger guns. 

Ford buckled up and was about to drive off but Soos stopped him. “Hey dude, it’s me: Soos, this is for zombies-” he handed Ford a shovel. “-And this is in case you see a pinata” Soos also handed him a bat.

“Uhh, thanks”…Wait, wouldn’t the bat be better for the zombies than the shovel? Sure, the shovel could be useful for re-burying the zombies after you fight them, but still, the bat seems more practica-Ok, definitely getting off-topic. This whole bat v.s shovel thing doesn’t matter. What matters is saving Stan.

“Better safe than sorry” Soos yelled as Ford drove off as fast as the cart could go. 

* * *

“Uh stan...now that we got to know each other, there’s…” she sighed. “...there’s something I should tell you.”

“Oh Norma, you can tell me anything.” _ Please be a mermaid, Please be a mermaid, Please be a mermaid. _

“All right, just... just don’t freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind. Be cool!” she slowly unzipped her jacket, revealing she’s actually a bunch of gnomes in disguise. 

“Is this weird, is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?” Lee couldn’t even respond.

“R-r-right, I’ll explain. So! We’re gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way.” the only thing Stan could say in response to this was just “uhhh.”

“I’m Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and... I’m sorry, I always forget your name” the leader of the gnomes asked the last remaining gnome.

“Shmebulock” Jeff snapped his fingers like a lightbulb just went off. 

“Shmebulock. Anyway, us gnomes we have been looking for another person to rule by my side, right guys?” The rest of the gnomes began just started creepily chanting “King” in response. 

They knelt and took out a ring box. “So what do you say Stan, would you join us in holy matri _ gnome _y --- Matri- Matrimon - Matrimony, blegh can’t talk today.” Lee was still stunned, but he got his voice back. 

“Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're cool and all, but I'm a kid, and you're gnomes. and it's like, ‘what’? Yikes…” 

“We understand. We’ll never forget you, Lee.” Wow, this might actually end on a nice note. Who would’ve thou- “...Because we’re gonna kidnap you” wait WHAT?! 

They almost immediately started attacking Stan.

* * *

“Don’t worry Stan, I’ll save you from the zombie” not much later he heard Stan yelling for help. 

As Ford got even closer he heard a voice say “The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, haha, okay. Get his arm there, Steve!” 

“What the hell is going on here?!”

“Sixer, Sixer, Norma turned out to be a bunch of gnomes, and they’re total JERKS. Oww, get offa me!” Lee punched some of them off of him. “Also, they’re all guys apparently...must be a smurfs kinda thing.” Which really just made this whole thing even more awkward for Stan. 

“Wow...gnomes? My theory was way off.” He pulled out the journal and read the page on gnomes: 

‘Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown.’

His attention was pulled away from the book when he Heard Lee yell “Aww come on.” Ford looked away for one second and they managed to tie up Stan?!?! 

“Hey, let go of my brother! Right now!” he stepped forward to the gnome leader.

“Oh! Haha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all just a big misunderstanding. You see, your brother's not in danger. He's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming king of the gnomes with me for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?”

“You guys are a bunch of as-” the other gnomes tapped Stan’s mouth shut before he could finish that sentence. 

“Let him go, or else!” Ford threatened with the shovel. “You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—” Ok this was just getting annoying now. Ford simply flipped the gnome over & cut Lee’s ropes with the shovel.

Once Stan got to his feet, they bolted to the cart. “He's getting away with our other king! No, no, no!” Jeff yelled as Ford & Stan drove away. “You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest, ASSEMBLE!” A bunch of the gnomes began to form a bigger monster: Mecha-gnome.

* * *

“Hurry before they come after us!”

“Stan, we have the cart and their legs are super tiny. I’m sure we’re fine.” welp, the giant stomping sounds just proved that theory wrong too.

“MOVE, MOVE!!!” they narrowly managed to avoid crashing into a fallen tree. Individual gnomes started attacking the two boys and the cart. Ford beat one but another began clawing at his face.

“I’ll save ya, Ford” He kept punching the gnome and Ford’s face in the process until it came off. 

“Thanks, Stan,” Ford said, disoriented from all the punching. 

“Don’t mention it, bro-bro.” They were so close to the Mystery Shack. If they can make it back, they might make it out of this situation safely. 

The mecha-gnome grabbed a tree and threw in the two boys’ path. There wasn’t enough time to swerve out the way so they crashed into that tree. 

The twins got to their feet and clung to each other. “Where’s Graunty Mabel?”

* * *

“And this is what I like to call ‘the world’s most distracting object’.” Mabel pulled a string on a spiral wheel. Everyone began staring at it, almost hypnotized. “Just try to look away, you can’t…Uhh, what was I saying?”

* * *

“It’s the end of the line, kids. Stan, marry us before we do something crazy!”

“There has to be a way out of this…” Ford’s mind was racing, absolutely desperate to think of something. 

“I gotta do it...” Stan’s expression didn’t have a trace of fear it had before. 

“What?! Stan, don't do this! Are you crazy?” No! His brother almost didn’t make it out of this ok and Ford isn’t going to risk it again. 

“Trust me.”

“What?”

“Sixer please, I need ya to trust me on this. Just this once.” Ford relented when he saw how sure & determined Lee was with whatever this plan is.

Lee stepped forward. “Ok Jeff, I’ll marry ya.” 

“Sweet! Help me down there, Jason!” Jeff started climbing down the mech-gnome. “Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike.” 

Jeff pulled out the ring and showed it off to Stan before he put it on Lee’s finger. “Badda Bing, Badda Boom. Let’s get you back to the forest, honey” he started to walk off. “You may now know kiss the groom”

“...Well, don’t mind if I do.” Jeff said, clearly delighted by Lee’s sudden change of mind about the marriage. 

Just as Stan & Jeff were about to kiss, Stan pulled out a leaf blower and managed to trap Jeff inside it. “That’s for lying to me, jerk” Lee upped the intensity of the leaf blower’s vacuum, trapping Jeff even further. 

“Ow, my face!” Jeff yelled.

“This is for ruining the first real romance I had!” he aimed the leaf blower toward the mecha-gnome. Ford joined his brother’s side. “And this is for messin’ with my brother!”

Lee looked at Ford. “Care to do the honors?” 

“On three?’ Ford suggested. Stan nodded. 

“1,2,3-Now!” they reversed the switch together. 

“I’ll get you back for this!!!” Jeff got blasted into the mecha-gnome, destroying it. 

“Deal with it ya gnome idiots” Stan laughed. As the rest of the gnomes started scampering away, the two twins began chanting “Pines, Pines, Pines!!!!” Stan stopped right outside the door to the Mystery Shack “Uhhh, hey Sixer?… Sorry for bein' stupid and not listenin’ to ya, or your nerd book. Ya really were just lookin’ out for me.” 

“Stan, don't be like that. You saved us back there. You were punching gnomes left & right and you had that brilliant leaf blower plan.” How can Lee seriously sell himself short like that right after doing all that amazing stuff?

“You’re just sayin’ that” Stan chuckled awkwardly, clearly not used to receiving praise or having the word ‘_ brilliant _’ be used in reference to him, or his ideas. “It just sucks that my first gal turned out to be a bunch gnomes...who were also all a bunch of old dudes”

“There’s a lot of creatures & anomalies in this journal, the next girl you date could be a mermaid.” 

“Yeah, right” despite Stan saying that sarcastically, Ford could tell it did make him feel better. 

“High six?”

“High six.”

* * *

When they walked into the Mystery Shack, Mabel almost immediately noticed their cuts and bruises. “Oh my gosh, did you two hit by a bus or something, come here. Let’s get you two cleaned up.” She took out her first aid kit. 

Both twins thought she was going overboard with this. They’ve gotten into worse scrapes before and Pa barely seemed to notice. And while Ma obviously did care and fixed them up when they got hurt, it wasn’t near this level. 

“I was thinking boys...how about you two pick something from the gift shop? You know, as a souvenir of your first week here.” 

“Seriously?!?” both boys asked simultaneously. She’s really gonna let them take something from the shop for free? 

“As a heart attack kiddos.” When she finished bandaging them up, the boys searched around the gift shop for something to take.

Ford ended up picking a notebook with a 6 fingered hand on the cover. He needed a new journal anyway. Lee was heavily debating between a <strike>fake</strike> gold chain with a makaral symbol for the pendant (which looked weirdly similar to the symbol on Pa’s fez) and a grappling hook. 

“You can take both if you want, Peanut. The grappling hook is calling you and I can’t deny your right to answer that call” Lee was grinning ear to ear at this point. 

He decided to use it that very second. Yes, inside the house. “Grappling Hook!!!” Lee shouted happily, dangling in the air.

* * *

Later that night, Stan was playing around with the grappling hook while Ford was writing in his new notebook. 

> ‘_The journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust._’ 

He stops writing for a second to look at his brother Stan. 

> ‘_But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back._’

“Hey Stan, get the light, please?”

“On it" Lee pointed the grappling hook at the lantern. "Five bucks says I make the shot?" he added with a sly grin.

"You're on" Stan steadied his aim & fired, breaking the lantern. "HA! Looks like I just became five bucks richer." The two boys started laughing at this little moment. 

> ‘Our aunt told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.’

* * *

While the boys slept, Mabel pressed buttons on the vending machine, opening another room in the house. She looks around to ensure no one is watching her before going down in the hidden room.


	2. The Day at the Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel just wants to fish, the boys want to find a cryptid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone really helped me with the editing and this plot gave me more of a chance to change things up, so I think this came out better than the last chapter, any thoughts? Also, who can figure out who was piloting the Gobblewonker in this version? Put any guesses in the comment section for this chapter

“Are ya ready for the ultimate challenge?” Lee held up a bottle of syrup. “I'm always ready!” Ford held up his bottle of syrup. 

“Syrup race!” The two boys shouted happily. They both uncapped their syrup bottles, tilted their heads back and stuck out their tongues.

“Go, go! Go, go!” both boys chanted as the syrup started to slowly spill out of the bottles.

“Almost, Almost.” Stan tapped the bottom of the bottle, causing the syrup to drip onto his tongue first. “Yes! I won!” Basically drinking maple syrup caused Stan to cough a bit. “It was Worth it.” He coughed one more time. 

“Hey! You cheated!” Ford protested, not all that bothered by losing. “No rule sayin’ we couldn’t hit the bottle. It’s not my fault your big brain didn’t think of it.” Ford just rolled his eyes at Stan’s smug response. It’s small stuff like this that made staying at their Graunty Mabel’s awesome. They could actually do dumb, goofy stuff like this without Pa getting on their case for it, spoiling their fun. 

Stan was busy doing a cocky, celebration dance while Ford turned back to his cryptid magazine. “No way! Hey, Stan, check this out,” he excitedly showed an AD page to Stan.

“Human-sized hamster balls? I'm human-sized!” 

“No, no, Stan. _ This _ .” He pointed to the AD next to the hamster ball one, a photo contest AD. “We’ve seen weirder stuff than that every day. Things that are _real_! We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?” 

“Nope, just memories, this beard hair...and the ring they gave me.” He pulled out a tuft of hair and a ring. 

“Why did you save those?” Stan just responded with a shrug & that ‘_I don’t know_’ sound. “And, I figured I could sell it or somethin’. I mean, just look at it.” Lee examined the ring. “It _ has _ to be worth _ somethin’, _ right?” Ford couldn’t argue with that logic. 

“Good morning, Sweetpeas!” Mabel happily shouted as she walked into the dining room. “You two know what day it is?” 

“Um, Happy anniversary?” Ford recalled hearing about Graunty Mabel getting married at one point. It’s a safe bet that it’s an anniversary she’s super happy about, right? “Mazel tov!” Stan just rolled with Ford’s guess. 

“Yeah, no...It's Family Fun Day!! We're skipping work and spending the whole day together.” She threw a thing of confetti to emphasize her point. 

“Graunty Mabel, is this gonna be like our last family fun day?” Memories of how they got banned from the petting zoo came flooding back to Ford. She taped a traffic cone to a horse’s head, and Stan tried to fight a Llama. 

“At least I got revenge on that stupid Llama...the snitch knew too much.” Stan glared.

“Ok, maybe that _ wasn’t _ my best idea. But don’t worry, I swear, this is gonna be a way better family fun day,” Mabel reassured. “Now, who wants to put on some sequin blindfolds and get into my car?” Caught up in her enthusiastic, sing-songy tone, both boys cheered. “Yay!!!” Wait... what was that about blindfolds?!

* * *

The car ride to wherever they were going was super bumpy. _ Blindfolds never lead to anything good. _ Ford kept his discomfort to himself_. _“Wow. Dude, all my other senses are heightened. I’m like Toph.” Stan began to feel around the car and accidentally touched his brother's face. What was that they hit? Please let it just be a speed bump. 

“Graunty Mabel, are you wearing a blindfold?” Ford felt stupid for even asking, but you never know with Graunty Mabel.

“No, but with these cataracts, I might as well be...is that a woodpecker?” Even though he could tell she was joking, intentionally trying to freak him out a little, Ford’s anxiety still spiked for the rest of the car ride.

* * *

“Okay kiddos, open 'em up.” The two boys removed their blindfolds, revealing...a lake? “~_bum buh da bum bum ba bum bum_~ It's fishin' season!” She showed off the lake in the same tone and presentation she used for her tours. 

“Fishin’?” Stan was confused, but kind of interested too. “You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here! Look!” 

She’s not wrong. There’s Susan with her mom, who’s holding out a pan. Over there's Toby Determined taking a photo of someone and the giant fish they caught. Wendy’s dad and brothers were wrestling whatever fish they caught. Caught, as in,_ literally_ caught with their bare hands. Next to them was Tyler Cutebiker, cheering them on. “That's some quality family bonding!” She sighed happily. 

“Why do you want to fish with us? I get you wanting to spend time with us but, fishing? This doesn’t exactly seem like something you’d be interested in.” 

“It might not be my favorite thing, but it is kinda fun, and your mom told me about your boat project. So, I thought you knuckleheads would enjoy fishing. Plus, almost anything can be made fun with your family!” 

This just confused the boys even more. It’s not even like they asked her to take them fishing or anything, so why would she do this for them? Especially if she doesn’t really care about fishing. “Hey, what’s with the frowns? I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up. Pow! Pines Family Fishing Sweaters.” She handed each of them a folded sweater. Ford’s read: 

> “~_ Water~ _Sweetheart” with little bubbles and seaweed on it.

Stan’s read:

> “~_ Shell~ _of a cutie” with cartoony shells on his.

Stan was torn between chuckling at the puns and feeling embarrassed at being called cute. He’s not cute. He’s tough, cool or manly but not cute! Ford just stared at the sweaters with a confused expression. Does she not realize it’s summer and they’ll be outside for a while? What made her think these sweaters were a good idea? If they wear them, they’re probably going to pass out from a heat-stroke before the day’s even half-way over. 

“Fun fact, I made those myself. It's just gonna be you, me, and those amazing sweaters on a boat for ten hours!” Ten hours?! They enjoyed fishing but isn’t that super excessive? 

“I brought my _ Sev’ral Timez _ CD!” She showed off a CD and a mini portable speaker as if that would somehow make this fishing trip better. The twins both had a look of pure dread. Ford couldn’t stand that ‘band’ (They’re not actual musicians and nothing will convince Ford otherwise. And while Lee may or may not have a secret love for _ Sev’ral Timez _, there’s no way in hell he’d ever admit it.)

“There has to be a way out of this,” Ford muttered to his brother as Mabel got onto the boat.

“I seen it! I seen it again! The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before he gets away!” Fiddleford ran through the crowd. “Hey! Hey! Fiddleford, what did I tell you about scaring my customers?!” An older man said in a stern tone, walking closer to Fiddleford. 

“But, I got proof this time, Dad!” He gestured for people to follow him to the dock. 

* * *

“Look,” he pointed to his destroyed boat. “The Gobblewonker did it! It had a long neck like a giraffe, and wrinkly, green skin. It chopped my boat up to smithereens! Then it swam back to scuttlebutt island! Ya gotta believe me!”

“Attention, all units. We got ourselves a paranoid, little kid.” Officer Grenda mocked, causing most of the crowd to laugh. Fiddleford walked away, embarrassed, muttering kid-friendly version of swears to himself, passing by Mabel & the twins. “Aww, poor, Fiddleford...Maybe I can make him a cheer-up sweater when we get home tonight. For now, though, let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!”

“Stan, did you hear what Fiddleford said?” 

"Uhhh, a bunch of non-curse, curse words?” Yeah, it’s kind of weird that Fidds doesn’t cuss, but why is Ford making it seem like it’s this huge thing? 

“No, The other thing, about the monster, the Gobblewonker. He mentioned it to me a while back. If we can get a photo of it, we could split the prize fifty-fifty.” He held up the photo contest ad. “That's two fifties!” Well...that’s certainly one way to put it. “Imagine what you could do with _ five.hundred.dollars _!” Ford emphasized, knowing the money would get Stan even more invested in this search.

Lee got lost in his fantasy of owning that human-sized hamster ball:

* * *

_ Crampelter and the other jerks back home were picking on Sixer, as usual. They were spouting those same stupid, unoriginal insults that somehow always got under their skin. “Hey, ya bunch of idiots!” he yelled. That got their attention off of his brother, who then got the chance to run to safety, and onto him. _

_ “Who’s laughing now?” He began chasing after the bullies in the giant hamster ball, trying to run them over. He felt like the boulder in that one Indiana Jones movie. Only this time, the people about to get crushed deserved it. The chase continued on, with Stan laughing almost maniacally at their scared expressions. Sixer began to cheer him on. _

* * *

He was snapped out of his revenge fantasy by Ford snapping his fingers, and shouting his name. “Sixer, I'm a million percent onboard with this! Just give me a minute, I’ll go get Fiddlenerd, he can help us.” Stan immediately bolted. 

_ While Stan is taking care of that, how am I going to convince Graunty Mabel to let us go on this adventure? _He spent a little while thinking of the different options he could use. At the end of it, he just decided to go with the simplest, most obvious choice. 

“Graunty Mabel! May we please take that boat to scuttlebutt island, and search for that Gobblewonker? Soos will be with us the whole time in case anything goes wrong,” Ford asked, slightly playing into his super responsible, well behaved, and polite reputation he had with adults. It was irritating having other kids think he was incapable of breaking a single rule, but the reputation was helpful now and then. 

Also, he wasn’t exactly lying when he said Soos was joining them. They haven’t asked him yet, but he likely would love to join them on this mission. 

"I'm not sure Jellybe-" Stan came running back to the boat with Fidds at his side, both chanting, “Monster Hunt!” Ford joined in on the chant. “You dudes say something about a monster Hunt?” Soos pulled in on his boat.

“Soos!” Stan happily shouted. The two boys moved away from Mabel’s boat and closer to Soos’. “What's up, hambone?” Lee and Soos did this little personalized handshake. 

“Dude, you could totally use my boat for your Hunt. It's got a steering wheel, some chairs...normal boat stuff.” He patted the boat proudly.

The older twin turned back to Mabel. “See Graunty Mabel, we’ll be safe. Can we go, please?” Ford asked again. 

“Ok, if you kids really want to, you can go on some epic monster-finding adventure.” She tried and failed to make that option seem horrible. 

“But, doesn’t spending the day, learning how to tie knots and skewer worms, with your great aunt Mabel sound way better?” She sounded like this was clearly the better option and it was obvious they’d choose it. 

After thinking about it for all of two seconds, the three boys ran aboard Soos’ boat and rode off, leaving Mabel alone. 

“We made the right choice!” Stan unintentionally rubbed salt in the wound.

“Those jerks,” Mabel pouted. After sulking in the boat for a while, inspiration struck her. “Maybe I can go back to the Shack real quick and get Waddles. _ He _ can be my fishing buddy.” She left the boat and ran to her car.

* * *

”Uhh! Hoist the anchor! Raise the flag!” Ford just shouted whatever ship captain-type order he could think of at the moment. “We're gonna find that Gobblewonker, prove to your dad what you saw was real and win this photo contest!” 

They sailed off, about to embark on their epic journey. This was already so much fun! Stan and Ford hadn't been on a mission like this since their Jersey Devil adventure. With a town and a small group of friends like this, they’ll actually be able to go on more monster adventures.

“All right, if we want to win this contest and prove your dad wrong, we've gotta do it right. Think, what's the biggest problem with most monster hunts?” Ford asked the group. 

“You're a side character and you die in the first five minutes of the movie. Dude, am I a side character? Do you ever think about stuff like that?” Soos started to panic a little. 

“I don’t. I’m clearly a main character.” Stan said with a level of confidence that bordered on arrogance. “I do! What if Imma side character who lives, but somethin’ tragic happens to ‘em?” Fidds’ anxiety grew at this line of thought. 

“Guys, we don’t have ti-actually...I do too.” Ford’s mind couldn’t help but indulge this sort of philosophical question even further... “I mean, how do we know we aren’t a side character of someone else’s story? Maybe we’re _ one _ of the main characters but not _ the _ main characte-” Nope, nope, nope, getting off track. He needs to stop himself before he falls even further into that mental rabbit hole. _ We’re on a monster hunt, the focus is on _ _ that, _ Ford reminded himself. 

“-Camera trouble. Camera Trouble! That is the main problem during monster hunts. Say bigfoot shows up. Soos, be bigfoot.” Soos obliged, mimicking Bigfoot’s movement from the iconic video to a T. 

Ford pretended to be shocked, and pointed to Soos. “There he is! Bigfoot!” He acted like he was searching for something, but couldn’t find it. 

“Uh-oh! No camera! Oh, wait! Here's one!” He pantomimed holding a camera. “Aw, no film! Do you see? You get the concept?” 

“Dude's got a point.” Stan and Fiddleford nodded in agreement. 

“That's why I bought twenty-one disposable cameras. Two on my ankle, three in my life vest, four for each of you.” He handed each of them cameras. 

“Three extras in this bag, and one, in my pocket.” He patted his front pocket for emphasis. “There's no way we're gonna miss this. Okay, everybody, let's test our cameras out.” Soos tried to take a test photo but the flash startled him, causing it to fall out of his hands and break. “You see? This is exactly why backups are important in these scenarios. We still have twenty.” 

Stan ended up throwing one of his cameras at a bird who pooped on his shoulder. “Nineteen. Okay, guys, please, _ do not _ lose your cameras,” Ford emphasized, feeling his patience waning rapidly. “Wait, lose the cameras?” Soos asked, somehow confused by these very basic instructions.

“Don't!” Ok, this is starting to get ridiculous. “Dude, I just threw like five away.” 

“Fourteen! All right, we still have Fourteen camera-” In a fit of anger, Ford accidentally smashed a camera. “-Thirteen...We have thirteen cameras.” Ford fought the urge to yell.

“So, is the plan to throw more cameras overboard?” Stan almost regretted his joke when Ford gave him the death glare. almost. _ OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING ME THAT!?!?! _

“For the millionth time guys!** _ DON’T _ **LOSE THE CAMERAS! Why is it Fidds seems to be the only one who understands this very basic concept?! Look, he’s even in the middle of hooking it on a string so he can carry it around his neck.” 

“I’m almost finished with it too. All I gotta do is bend this little metal bit to keep it from fallin’ off the string. If ya want, I can do the same for all yours to-” the pressure he was applying to part of the camera in order to bend that bit of metal caused it to fall out of his hands and slide overboard.

There was an awkward pause before Fiddleford muttered, “Sorry….” Ford’s frustration was almost at its boiling point. He stopped himself for a moment, took a deep breath and repeated, “We still have twelve” a couple of times. More to himself than anything else, like he was trying to calm himself with that fact.

This was supposed to be a fun adventure with friends and brother and he doesn’t want to ruin it by yelling at them. After another deep breath, Ford seemed to calm down.

“Okay. Stan'll be the lookout, Fiddleford can be the navigator since he saw where it went, Soos can work the steering wheel and I'll be captain.”

“What?! Why do _ you _ get to be captain? What about me, huh? I have leadership material. Stan-Ley! Stan-Ley! Stan-Ley! Stan-Ley!” Sixer might be the smart twin, but that doesn’t automatically mean he gets to be captain. It’s high time Lee got a chance to take charge of the mission.

“I'm not sure that's a good idea.” Ford fought the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Fine, but what about co-captain?” 

“Stan, there's no such thing as co-captain. Well, there _might_ be for like cheer teams and stuff, but not for boats.” Stan took another camera and held it threateningly overboard. “Uhhh...Whoops!” He tossed it in the water to show Pointdexter he wasn’t bluffing.

“Okay, fine! You can be co-captain!” 

“Can I be associate co-captain?” Soos asked. “Can I also be associate co-captain?” Fiddleford added.

“As co-captain, I authorize those requests.” Fiddleford & Soos high fived. “Well, as first co-captain, our first order of business is to lure the monster out with this fish food.” 

“Permission to taste some?” Soos asked, completely serious. “Granted.” Ford knew this was stupid and immature. He knew should be way above this kind of thing, but he couldn’t help himself. “Permission co-granted.” Stan was grinning ear to ear.

“Permission associate co-granted.” Fiddleford was already trying to hold back laughter. “Permission co-associate co-granted,” Soos added in his two cents before he ate some of the fish food.

Soos immediately spat out the fish food and began wiping his tongue in a vain attempt to get rid of the flavor. “Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like.” The three boys were all laughing.

* * *

“Hey, how's it goin’?” Stan was holding the beak/pouch thing of a pelican. “_It's going awesome. Bow bow, ba-bow bow,” _ Lee put on a fake, goofy voice & using the Pelican more or less as a puppet.

“Stan, we got to focus. Stop messing with that thing.” Ford didn’t even bother to look away from the map Fidds & him were examining. “_Aw, I don’t mind. Hey! Who wants to hear a joke? _” he continued with the silly voice & messing with the pelican. “Not me!” Ford half-heartedly protested, knowing fully well Lee was going to tell the joke anyway.

“Yeah, you do! Here it goes: _ Why did the Pelican get kicked out of the restaurant _?”

“No one cares!” Ford still made a half-hearted protest. “_ Because he had a very big _ _ bill _ _ . LA LA LA LA yuk yuk yuk! _”

Ford <strike>barely</strike> managed to stop himself from laughing at the cheesy joke. Ford wasn’t going to encourage Stan’s behavior this time. Normally he would love to joke around with Stanley, but they’re in the middle of an important mission. They can’t afford to get distracted right now.

“Booo! Bad joke, bad Pelican,” Ford responded languidly while Fiddleford was laughing more at Ford’s reaction than the joke itself. “If that one isn’t to your comedic tastes, try this one on for size. Here goes:” Lee cleared his throat.

“_ My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better!... Her aim is gettin' better! _ Ya get it?...” Stan was met with silence. He let go of the Pelican, who flew off the very second it could, disappointed & annoyed. “Ah, screw you guys! Those jokes were hilarious...I’m unappreciated in my time,” Lee muttered. 

“Aren't you supposed to be lookout?” 

“Look out!” A beach ball was thrown at Ford’s head, almost knocking the glasses off his face.

“Haha! But seriously, I'm on it.” Right as Lee said that, they hit the island shore. “See? We're here already.” They got out of the boat and began to explore the island. 

* * *

They all passed a sign saying ‘Scuttlebutt Island’. Soos stopped and covered the word ‘Scuttle’ with his arm. “Dude, check it out...Butt island.” Stan, as soon as he saw what Soos did, began laughing. The other two boys began looking around, worried about the slightly ever-growing fog creeping upon them. “Hey, Sixer, Glasses, why aren't ya laughin’? That was comedy gold! Are you both scared?” Stan teased.

“Yeah, right we’re not sc-” he & Fiddleford almost instinctively hid behind Stan when they heard a random noise (<strike>a stick Ford accidentally stepped on.)</strike> “Yeah, you are!” Stan grinned smugly. “This proves _ nothing, _ Stan!” Yeah, Lee wasn’t buying it. 

“Well pardon me for having a healthy sense of self-preservation!” Fiddleford said defensively.“ ‘_ Self-preservation _’? HA! I’m not a genius like you two but last I checked, that doesn’t require bein’ scared of your own shadow.”

“Oh, hush your mouth, Lee!”

“Or what, you’ll bore me to death with your nerd speak!? ‘Cause no offense, I’ve already built an immunity thanks to growing up with Sixer.” 

“No. I reckon I’ll build an 80-ton shame bot, maybe a death ray. Depends on which I’m more in the mood to build.” This was said with such casualness, Stan couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. Which was...concerning, to say the least.

_Fidds does have a knack for building & fixing things so it’s entirely possible he could make those things (and who knows what else) if he really wanted to._ He began to slowly move away from Fiddleford as they continued walking. Just to be on the safe side. Ford couldn’t help but laugh at Stan’s worried expression.

Another noise startled the entire group.

“Uhh! Dudes, did you guys hear that?”

“What was that?” Fiddleford looked around, trying to find the source of the noise. “Was it your gut?” Stan gestured toward Soos’ belly.

“No, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises. Look, listen.”

“Ew, no thanks. I’ll take your word for it.” Stan laughed but clearly also grossed out by the suggestion. A Opossum came out of nowhere, took the Lantern from Ford’s hand, and ran off. “Our lantern!”

“Shanklin?”

“What would Shanklin be doing on the other side of the country, Stan?!”

The fog started to surround them even further. Ford squinted, trying to see through the thick, encompassing fog. “Dude, I don't know, man, maybe this isn't worth it.”

“Yeah, Ford, we can barely see past a few feet, maybe we should turn back before we get even more lost,” Fiddleford added.

“How is it not worth it? We are on the verge of a _ massive _ Cryptozoological find!!! Just imagine what would happen if we got that picture!”:

* * *

_ “Tonight, we're here with brilliant Cryptozoological investigator: Stanford Filbrick Pines, who bravely found and documented the elusive Gobblewonker. Tell me, Ford, what's the secret to your success?” The interviewer asked. _

_ “Well, for starters I run away from nothing.” Ford took a sip of his coffee. “Nothing except for when I ran away from my very clingy Great Aunt Mabel, who I ditched in order to pursue that lake monster.” The news segment pulled up a photo of Graunty Mabel, whose entire face was bedazzled. _

_ “How right you were to do so. She looked like a real piece of work.” _

_ “Oh indeed, she was. As for the other reasons for my success: My intellect & drive for new discoveries.” _

_ “I don't often do this, but I feel the need to give you an award.” The interviewer brought out a medal and placed it around Ford’s neck. The live audience cheered with two voices in the crowd shouting. _ _ “I’m so proud of you, boy!” Ford heard Pa shout from the crowd. _

_ “I knew you could do it, Baby!” Ma added. _

_ Stan, still stuck in his human-sized hamster ball, burst into the T.V. studio. _ _ “Charlie! Why won't ya interview me?! ” Lee shouted before he ran toward Ford & the Interviewer, chasing them off. “I deserve a medal too!” _

* * *

“I'm in!”

“Me too!” Both twins began to run off. Fiddleford thought about it for a second, before running after them. “All right if you’re really sure about this, I’m in too.” 

“I'm comin’ too, dudes! Wait up!” Soos tried to catch up to them. 

* * *

As they were walking, Soos began beat-boxing to accompany Stan’s ‘_rapping _ ’. “My name is Stan, it rhymes with ‘ _ Can _ ’ It also rhymes with ‘_Man _ ’ It also rhymes with...‘_Shlam _’ " 

“Dude, we should be writing this down.”

“Fiddlesticks, how much longer ‘till we find this lake monster? I wanna get that hamster ball ASAP!” 

“Look, just because I saw the general direction the Gobblewonker went, don’t mean I know it’s exact whereabouts,” Fiddleford tried to calmly explain, but it was easy to tell he was beginning to get frustrated: Both with Stanley constantly asking the same question over & over and the fact his tracking seemed to be getting them nowhere.

“Yeah Stanley, tracking, and navigation are much more difficult than you think. It’s going to take a while before we find that lake monster.”

“That sounds boring though, and needlessly complicated,” Lee complained.

“If this kind of thing was easy, then we wouldn’t get any recognition, or money for that matter, for discovering the Gobblewonker.” The conversation the three boys were having was cut short by a low, growling sound.

“Everyone, stop. You hear something?” Ford tried to find where the noise was coming from.

“It sounds like it came from there,” Soos pointed to a bush. They all ran closer to the source of the sound. Ok, the creature _has_ to be around this corner. Fiddleford’s tracking must have been more accurate than they all thought. Ford pulled out one of his cameras.

“This is it. This is it! Everyone get your cameras ready.” 

“This is so AWESOME!” Lee was shushed by his brother.

“Ya’ll Ready?” Normally Fiddleford would be terrified at the idea of facing a freaky monster but he was actually excited. His dad is _ finally _ gonna believe him that he sees strange creatures like this. He’s actually gonna have legitimate proof this time.

“Let’s do this, dudes.”

“Go!” Ford shouted just enough for the group to hear, but not enough to startle the creature away. The group bolted even closer to the creature, brandishing their cameras.

After taking a slew of photos, the whole group really got a good look at the ‘Creature’ (<strike>a bunch of logs & sticks pushed together, making a vague monster shape</strike>)

“But-but what was that noise? That HAD to have been a monster noise.” The ‘growling’ continued, drawing all of their attention to...a Beaver playing with a chainsaw? “Sweet!” Soos took another picture of the odd sight and continued to take pictures of the other beavers.

“It was a beaver dam this whole time? Uhh...Fidds, are you really sure you saw it?” 

“Oh come on, Ford, I know what I saw! I ain't losin’ my mind!” Ford’s accusation really seemed to hit a nerve. “You’re always goin’ on & on about cryptids and cryptozoology & the like, why’re you of all people doubtin’ me on this?” 

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, Fidds, but maybe you were suffering from a heat stroke or something. Those _ can _ cause hallu-”

“I’m tellin’ you, I saw the Gobblewonker! Those weren’t hallucinations, and I’m not makin’ this up!” Ok, Fiddleford was getting seriously pissed off at this point. “Ok, ok, but that still doesn’t get rid of the fact that we can’t find it.” _ Or that we probably won’t ever find it _. 

Ford sighed bitterly and sat on a log by the lakeside. “What are we gonna say to Graunty Mabel? We ditched her for nothing.” Guilt started to eat away at the twins. She planned this whole trip just for the-was that a ripple in the water?

The ground began to shake. “Guys, do you feel that? ” The older twin knew earthquakes were really common in California but did that apply to Oregon as well?

Ford’s attention was drawn back to the water by some strange movement he saw in the corner of his eye. Whatever was moving was getting closer and closer to them. Is that the Gobblewonker?

Ford immediately pulled out a camera and got a photo. The rest of the group slowly backed away.

“Uhhh, Ford…” Fiddleford’s voice gave out.

“What's wrong with you guys? This is what we spent the whole time searching for!” 

“Sixer, just forget the picture for a sec and get over here, _ now, _” Stan oddly sounded hesitant to make any loud noise. Ignoring his brother’s advice, Ford turned back to get a better photo of the creature. Ohh...So Ford can now say the Jersey Devil back home isn’t the most terrifying thing he & his brother have seen.

Ford kept trying to run away, or at least move away from the monster, but his feet remained planted where they stood. He was just standing there, paralyzed, his mind running a mile a minute.

Running on pure instinct, Lee grabbed Ford before the monster had a chance to attack him. “Run!” The group bolted for their lives. How fast can this creature even go? It’s like the thing has a motor or something.

In a last-ditch effort to get that picture, Stanford pulled out another camera (he dropped the other one when he first saw the Gobblewonker up close) while he ran. Unfortunately, right as he got the photo, he lost balance running into a tree root & dropped the camera trying not to fall. Seriously, did luck just decide to hate him one day?!

Soos managed to grab Ford before he fell too far behind. “Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got tons of pictures of those beavers, dude!” Soos said, slightly out of breath from how much they’ve all been running.

“WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!" Oh thank God, the boat was right in their sight. Soos helped the three boys onto the boat and he rushed to the steering wheel. 

* * *

As they got further & further from the island, they noticed the Gobblewonker continued its chase by diving back into the water.

Ford tried again to get the photo but the lens was cracked.

“Stan! Try to get a photo!”

Was Stan seriously throwing their extra cameras at the creature!?! Noticing Ford’s death glare, Stan awkwardly stopped. “Don’t worry, Sixer, there’s one left.” Lee stupidly, <strike>so, **_so_** stupidly</strike> tried throwing the camera to his brother, only for it to hit part of the boat & crack beyond use.

The chase seemed never-ending. They might have ended up circling the lake a few times, but none of them could say for sure. It’s hard to tell when you’re terrified & hopped up on adrenaline.

Does this thing have a grudge against them or something? Didn’t animals typically only attack people to protect its territory/young? They left it’s habitat & are clearly trying to leave it alone. What else could it possibly want? Ok, they can’t keep this up. The gas is eventually gonna run out. 

Ford opened the journal to see if anything in it could help. He knew this was a long shot but they were desperate and their options were severely limited.

“SOOS, DRIVE TO THE WATERFALL! THERE MIGHT BE A CAVE BEHIND IT!”

“ '_MIGHT BE _’?!” Fiddleford, if it was even possible, seemed to panic even more. “WE’RE GONNA DIE ANYWAY! WHAT ELSE DO WE HAVE TO LOSE?!” Stan countered.

Soos swerved toward the waterfall, not slowing down. As there about hit the falls, Ford put his book back in his life vest to protect it from the water. 

* * *

The group got to their feet, and caught their breath. Soos & the three boys ran further back when the monster roared & tried to lunge at them. Wait...it’s not attacking them?

“It’s...stuck?” Ford took a couple steps closer to get a better look. “YEAH! HAHA, IT IS!” The younger twin shouted, happily confirming what Ford said. Stan & Ford began to laugh both out of relief and happiness. They seriously lucked out. Not only are gonna make it out of this situation alive but they can actually win that prize money too & prove this thing was real.

Ford tried to grab a camera, uh...where are the cameras? Any of the cameras? Ford was starting to panic but that soon turned to anger.

Of course this would happen. OF.COURSE.THIS.WOULD.HAPPEN! Why would it turn out _ any _ differently for them?! First, he couldn’t get proof of the Jersey Devil and now THIS?! Was he just destined to see these fantastical creatures and never be able to get any actual evidence?! This is just their luck after a-Stan tapped Ford’s shoulder, pulling him out of his train of thought.

He held out a camera, offering it to Ford. “...You managed to save a camera?” he took the camera from his brother.

“Kind of. I remembered ya said somethin’ about havin’ a camera in your pocket, so I picked pocketed you while you were freakin’ out just now.” 

“Ok, _ why _ did you pickpocket me?”

“For dramatic effect.” Stan shrugged as if that made perfect, logical sense. Umm ok...Ford wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to this but whatever, he had some pictures to take. He happily took a slew of photos. 

“Did ya get a good one?” 

“They’re all good ones!” Lee & his brother fist-bumped in celebration. “I’m orderin’ my hamster ball as soon we get back to the shack!”

Unsurprisingly, the creature roared & thrashed about causing rocks & Stalactites to fall. The group managed to avoid getting hit, but the Gobblewonker wasn’t so lucky, to put it mildly. The crushed Gobblewonker head began to spark & smoke. Wait, it’s not even a living creature? They need to get a better look at this thing.

“Be careful, dude!” Soos shouted as Ford walked closer to the ‘creature’. 

“It’ll be fine!” Ford assured, slowly moving up to it.

Ford touched it’s ‘skin’. It wasn’t scaly or slimy or really anything you’d expect from an underwater creature, it was metallic. So this thing is clearly a robot, there’s no denying that, but how was it being controlled this whole time? There has to be an opening somewhere, ah-ha, there it is! A hatc-A very bright flash from the machine almost blinded Ford.

After his eyes adjusted back to normal, he climbed up to the hatch he noticed. He peered inside the machine. Wait, this makes no sense.

This thing is clearly designed for someone to operate it from the inside, but no one’s in here. All that’s inside is a little pocket mirror with a ‘B’ on the back of it. Ford grabbed the mirror before he climbed back down.

The only thing he could think of was to simply hand over the mirror to Stan and say, “This is all I could find.” Ford explained, kind of dazed like he didn’t fully understand it himself and was trying to process it. 

“So we really _ did _ just ditch Graunty Mabel for nothin’?” It was less of a question and more an admission. The guilt they felt before returned in full force.

Even if Graunty Mabel _ was _ a bit clingy (and kind of annoying if they’re being honest) she was also so kind and fun and she tried so hard for them. Mabel does so much just to make them happy: Rebinding Ford’s books when they begin to fall apart, going along with Stan’s many schemes, today (and all the other family fun days), letting them “steal” snacks from the gift shop’s vending machine whenever they wanted & just so much more.

Both boys just stared at the tiny mirror. This stupid thing was basically their reward for all their effort, and for treating their Graunty Mabel like garbage, today. “Dude, guess that mirror means the _ real _ Lake Monster is you two.”

“Soos!” Fiddleford elbowed Soos’ side.

“Sorry! It just like -_BOOM_\- popped into my head with the whole mirror reflection thin-” Soos’ voice just cut out when he saw the pained expressions on the boys’ faces worsen. “I-I’ll just shut up now, sorry dudes,” Soos added awkwardly.

“There’s still some film left on this last camera,” Stan pointed out, staring at the camera. “What should we do with it?” Ford asked, knowing full well what his brother was going to suggest.

* * *

Soos’ boat was in shambles, and practically on the verge of sinking, but thankfully it lasted long enough for them to get back to Mabel. Uh, was she talking to her pet pig?

“It just makes no sense, Waddles. I thought they’d love fishing. Plus, I brought awesome music and tasty snacks.” 

“_You just need to find something better Oink Oink _” Waddles ‘said’ (It was really Graunty Mabel making a goofy voice and just moving Waddle’s mouth). “Say Oink one more time”

“_ Oink Oink _”

“HaHa! You’re right, waddles. I just need to find a better family fun day activity, one they’ll absolutely love” With newly found determination, she pulled out a mini notebook & began working on a list of Family Fun Day activities. 

Ford cleared his throat to get their Graunty’s attention. “Huh-Oh, hey boys...how was your monster hunt?” She tried to say it casually but it was obvious she was still hurt. “Well, we kind of wasted our whole time of finding a cryptid-like dinosaur.”

“But, we realize we’d rather hang out with this legendary dinosaur,” Stan joked, pointing to Mabel. She’s seemed unconvinced until she laughed a bit.

“Well you do make a good point, I AM a legend, and how’d you know I’m a dinosaur in disguise?” She roared and proceeded to act like a T-Rex for a little bit, causing the two boys to laugh.

“Room in the boat for 4 more?” Ford asked hopefully. To add to their apology, the twins put on the fishing sweaters. They were probably going to get a heat stroke but it was more than worth it. She thought about it for a second and her expression softens. 

“Aww, I can’t stay mad you little gremlins.” The whole group climbed out of the sinking boat and into Mabel’s. “Scrapbook-ertunity?” Stan held out the camera. “Of course, get one of me threading a hook with my eyes closed.”

“5 bucks says you can’t do it,” Ford happily challenged. 

“Oh, you’re on, little mister.” The Mystery Shack crew (with the exception of Wendy) had spent the rest of this hectic day just joking around, fishing, taking random photos and most likely being a nuisance to some of the other people fishing while _ Sev’ral Timez _ played _ ( _Much to Ford’s irritation and Stan & Fidds delight. Not that Stan would admit it.)

Despite the massive disaster, (which it wasn’t completely since Fidds can still show those photos to his dad, that was different than cheating in a contest) it ended up being one of their favorite Family Fun Days. 


	3. ANNOUNCEMENT (I know these must be low key annoying for those who want actual updates, sorry)

So I've been writing way more often than I used to, from these fics and just school stuff, and coming back to these two chapters...yeah I'm not as happy with them as I was. I want to re-workshop them, especially before I post the actual chapter 3. 


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